It’s OK to Turn Up as You

Self-worth, finding yourself, and learning that maybe you were enough all along.

Have you ever found yourself wondering when you stopped feeling like yourself? Maybe it happened gradually, somewhere between being there for everyone else, trying to keep everything together, meeting expectations and doing what you thought you were supposed to do.

You became the strong one; the person people could turn to when they needed something, putting your own feelings to one side because someone else needed you more.

I think many of us know what that feels like, how early we learn to measure our worth by what we do, begin to believe that our value lies in what we give rather than who we are.

The hidden exhaustion of always appearing OK.

There is a particular type of tiredness that come from holding everything together on the outside while quietly struggling on the inside. The tiredness of being asked how you are and automatically replying, “I’m fine thanks”

Sometimes, we can become so good at appearing strong that people don’t realise how much effort it takes.

You are allowed to need reassurance, comfort, understanding and rest. You don’t have to earn the right to be cared for by first proving how much you can endure.

Questioning your own worth.

One of the hardest things about struggling with self-worth is that it doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. You can be capable, kind, independent and accomplished and still question if your good enough.

We begin looking outside ourselves for evidence that we’re valued, measure our worth by other people’s responses. These moments can seem small, but when they become a pattern, they can slowly shape the way we see ourselves.

You can be a good person and still not be everyone’s person.

You can make mistakes and still deserve respect.

You can be a work in progress and still be worthy of love.

Your worth is not something you have to negotiate.

Maybe finding yourself isn’t about becoming a completely different person, maybe its about slowly returning to parts of yourself you’ve neglected. Remembering what you enjoy when nobody else is trying to influence your choices.

You can thank yourself for getting through some hard times, learning to speak more kindly to yourself, begin to trust that being honest about who you are is more valuable than constantly trying to become who you think you should be.

Celebrate the times you make a choice because it feels right for you, rather than because you’re afraid of what someone else might think.

Maybe that’s where better mental wellbeing begins, not in becoming a perfect version, but learning to treat the person you already are with a little more love, patience and understanding.