SELF-SABOTAGE

Self-sabotage: It can happen in lots of areas of your life, work, health and fitness routines, building relationships, suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, you will find an excuse not to continue, it's almost like an invisible force pushing you in the opposite direction to where you want to go.

Low self- esteem that voice “you're not good enough”

With low self-esteem you can often use self-sabotage to make your reality align with your inner beliefs, a defence mechanism, if you mess up intentionally you may feel in control of the failure, or that it's just an expected flaw of your character?

Fear of the unknown - change can be intimidating even if it's positive for some, what's familiar can feel safe.

Worthiness issues - you may not feel deserving of happiness or success, could be due to past experiences or deeply ingrained beliefs from childhood, you may pull away when close to achieving something great as you believe you're not worthy?

SIGNS - Negative self-talk, persistent internal dialogue that can be highly demeaning and critical to yourself.

Perfectionism - setting unattainable standards for yourself always finding fault in what you do?

Avoiding feedback - feeling defensive whenever criticism, even when constructive is offered. Maybe not recognising feedback as a growth tool, you could be trying to protect yourself from perceived threats to your self-worth.

You may have frequent feelings of regret, possibly dwelling on past mistakes or constantly feeling as though you made the wrong choices.

Self- isolation - pulling away from friends, family or colleagues especially in times of stress or challenge, making you unable to ask for or receive help and support.

Coping strategies to help with self-sabotage:

Being self-aware, this starts with mindfulness being truly present in the moment you can begin to understand your triggers and patterns, this awareness is crucial in catching yourself before slipping unto unhelpful self-sabotaging habits.

Challenge and change your inner critic, whenever your inner voice criticises you, try to create a new narrative for yourself, building a habit of repeating empowering statements to yourself, this is a skill worth learning and practicing for achieving your goals and for your overall well- being.

Empowering statements to start with:

I am worthy of respect and connection

You are worthy of success, love and happiness

Stop being afraid of what can go wrong and start being positive about what can go right.

Sometimes despite our best intentions, we sometimes become our own biggest obstacle. Self-sabotage can be confusing and frustrating. You may want change, growth, or happiness, yet find yourself avoiding opportunities, procrastinating, pushing people away, or repeating patterns that hurt you.

This doesn’t mean you lack motivation or discipline, often is a protective response shaped by past experiences, therapy reframes these behaviours as learned behaviours not character flaws.

Understanding the origin of a behaviour reduces self-blame and creates space for change.